Letting Go
by The Offbeat Alchemist
Summary: One dreary afternoon, Rei decides to take care of something she's been putting off for a long time. She finds help and comfort from someone she doesn't expect. -Oneshot, short, sweet.


**Letting Go**

Rei watched from the sofa as dark clouds gathered in the sky. The sun was shining only moments ago. Now its light was blotted out as heavy gusts of wind hid it with storm clouds. The living room quickly grew dim. It reminded her of all those rainy days, back when...

She set her unfinished cup of tea down on the glass coffee table and got up to close the drapes. The room grew a little darker as the semi-sheer cloth fell in place over the window, but Rei felt better with her view of that gloomy sight obscured. The wind was strong enough for her to feel a faint draft blowing into the room. She turned from the window and bent to pick up her teacup. Sitting on the arm of the sofa was the book she had tried to blot out the heavy silence in her home with. The words just blurred on the page as she attempted to read. She couldn't stay focused long enough to absorb a full sentence.

Rei slapped the book shut as she walked by. In the kitchen she poured the remains of her tea down the drain and rinsed out her cup. She set the clean cup on the counter and leaned against the side of the sink. Her ears were straining for the sound of rain. It wasn't falling yet, but a faint rumble of thunder teased the edges of her hearing. After it faded, the blanket of silence draped over her again. It was too quiet.

Miku was out. She left shortly after she woke up. Rei wasn't sure where she went. Unlike herself, Miku was developing an active social life. Miku was living.

Rei rubbed her tired eyes and tried not to remember Yuu, but his final words echoed in her ears.

_You need to live for me..._

That was the message he left her with. Did the past few months, spent almost exclusively at home, going from one trivial task to the next, qualify as living?

Rei didn't think so. But she didn't feel she had the strength or the courage to do more. Not yet. It felt too soon to go out and leave the memories her home held behind. At the same time, she dreaded being left alone, with nothing to keep her company but her own thoughts.

They always returned to one thing. Yuu. Specifically, Yuu's room. No matter how much she loathed the thought, it was way past time to clean out his room and box away his things.

Rei left the kitchen and slowly mounted the narrow flight of stairs that led to the upper hall. She knew what would happen if she went in there. She would start pulling out his notes, the little things he collected, articles of his clothing... There were memories attached to everything. They would flash through her mind with each item she touched. Some would make her smile, even laugh, but she knew it wouldn't be long before she started to cry.

_It has to be done_, she told herself.

Her feet seemed to drag across the carpet as she turned down the hall. Yuu's door was partway open, as if he had just stepped out. Even now, there were subtle things like that, still present in the house, that made it feel like he was still there. How many times, those first nights after the accident, had she jerked from her sleep and run down the hall to make sure he was really gone?

Rei's hand trembled a little as she reached out to push the door to Yuu's bedroom open. The curtains were pulled back, letting the pale light of the stormy afternoon dimly illuminate the area. Yuu had always liked soft lighting and dark colors, so the room had changed after he moved in to suit his tastes. Maybe it was her imagination, but Rei thought the room seemed darker after Yuu's death. Without Yuu, everything seemed a little darker to her.

Sitting near the closet was a cardboard box. It stood open and empty, waiting for someone to come along, fill it up and seal it shut. After that, it would sit in the attic and gather dust. Rei pictured Yuu's things packed away, probably never to be seen again and felt her throat tighten.

Miku must have gotten the box ready. She knew this day was coming, too, and helped without a word. As her eyes caressed Yuu's possessions, still lying out on his desk, Rei was glad Miku wasn't home. She wanted to be alone while she did this.

She wanted to be alone when she cried.

Rei finally forced herself out of the doorway and stepped into the room. The carpet felt soft beneath her feet as she stepped slowly closer to the box. Logic took over her thoughts and started going over the place she should start. His books should go in first, followed by his notes. After that would go his collection of newspaper clippings. All of that could easily fill three or four boxes. She would need separate boxes for all his clothes...

Her thoughts came to a halt as her insides suddenly lurched. Rei grabbed the windowsill for support as she swayed on her feet. An image of the room the way it was before Yuu moved in flashed through her mind. What was she thinking? These were all pieces of Yuu, the only pieces she had left of him. How could she even consider sealing them away?

The sound of thunder made her look away from the box. Raindrops began hitting the window. Rei watched as each drop landed with a gentle thump. They slid silently down the glass and faded away in the pool forming on the window ledge. The sound of the rainfall was almost rhythmic. It was soothing.

Rei turned from the window and pushed the sound of her own inner thoughts aside. She concentrated on the rain. Maybe if she focused on something else, she could do this. With determination, she pulled a book at random from the shelf. She placed it in the box without looking at the title. Without pausing, she grabbed another. And another.

Before she knew it, the box was full. She would have find another and...

_That's enough for now, _she thought._  
_

Any more would be pushing it. As she pressed the flaps of the box shut, Rei felt a twinge of pride. She had filled the entire box without shedding a tear. Realizing this made her pause, her hand still holding the box flap.

Was that really something to be proud of? Was she really moving on?

...Was she really ready to let go?

Rei got slowly to her feet and looked at the empty space she had made on Yuu's shelves. A lone book remained on the center shelf. It was tipping slightly. As she watched, it slipped and fell flat with a slight scuff. Rei went over and lifted it slowly.

The binding was gray and worn. Rei opened the cover, even though she knew what she would find. Scrawled across the inside of the front cover were the words 'to Yuu'. The memory of the day she gave it to him was clear and vivid, like it had happened only this morning.

The book was her first gift to him. He had taken it without much reaction, but she saw him carry it around with him for weeks to come.

Rei tightened the muscles around her eyes as a memory crept, unwelcome, into her mind. She saw Yuu sitting on the sofa, her gift lying open in his lap. His head was lolled to one side and there was a faint smile on his face as he dreamed. She had carefully placed a blanket over him, kissed his cheek and switched off the light. He didn't wake as she tip-toed out of the room.

Rei blinked down at the book in her hands. A dark spot was spreading across it, making a stain. Another appeared beside it with a splash as the tears she was silently crying slipped from her face and onto the gray binding.

Footsteps were coming up the stairs. The rain had drowned out the sound of Miku unlocking the door. Rei quickly set the book back on the shelf. She turned it so her tears were hidden.

"I'm in here," she called as she hastily wiped her eyes.

The door creaked. Soft footsteps came and stopped behind her. Rei glanced at the closed box. Was she doing the right thing?

"I finally decided to clean up in here," she faltered.

That didn't come out right. She made it sound like Yuu's memory was an inconvenience that had to be removed. A tear sprang from her eye and slowly trickled down her face. She wiped it away and shut her eyes tight.

"I just wanted to..."

She wasn't sure what she wanted. She wanted to do what Yuu asked her to, but that meant letting go. Moving on. A hand rested on her shoulder. The pressure of it calmed her. She reached up to hold it.

"I'm sorry to worry you like this, Miku."

The hand she clutched in her own wasn't small and thin like Miku's. It was large, firm and warm. Rei opened her eyes and lifted her head. Kei was peering down over her shoulder at her. His face was solemn, but his eyes were full of concern.

He glanced away and lightly cleared his throat. "I hope I didn't startle you, showing up like this. No one came to the door, and it was unlocked, so..."

He trailed off. His eyes drifted over the box before returning to her face. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I'm sorry to intrude."

Rei wasn't sure what to say. She found herself looking at the book again. She felt Kei's eyes on it as he removed his hand from her shoulder. Yuu used to take it with him to work. Kei probably recognized it.

"It's all right if you miss him."

Rei turned from the shelf and looked at up him. "I miss him, too," he added gently. "Not anywhere as much as you do, but still, I..."

He stopped himself again. He didn't look sure of what he was trying to say. But Rei understood. Kei had lost his closest friend. There was a void in his life, too. The loss was different, but that didn't make it any less important. Rei nodded slightly. "I know. You don't have to explain it."

Kei turned and looked down at the box. "I could help you with the rest, if you like."

Rei thought about it. She remembered how she felt grateful earlier that Miku was gone. She felt uncomfortable with the thought of the younger girl being there, watching while she fought away the tears as she went through Yuu's memories. For some reason, picturing Kei doing the same thing didn't bother her at all.

She took a step closer to him. "If it isn't too much trouble. You can keep a few things, if you like. I'm sure Yuu would have wanted that."

Kei nodded once. "Thank you. I'd like that."

His back was facing her. Before she realized what she was doing, Rei had slipped her arms around him from behind. Her head rested between his shoulder blades. She could hear his heartbeat, and feel it beneath her hand where it rested on his chest. Despite the chill caused by the storm, he felt warm.

It was just like the time they stood together in Miku's room. She knew him by name but had never met him before that day. Not in person, anyway. As she read through his letters to Yuu, she started to feel like she already knew him. It didn't feel out of place to rest her head on his shoulder as she shared her pain with him. It felt comforting.

It felt right.

An image of Yuu crept into her mind. He was smiling at her. Kei reminded her of him in many ways, especially the way he spoke. So slow and soft. Yuu never raised his voice. She doubted Kei, did either. They were so alike, and both so very different from her...

It was just like Yuu to do something like this. To make sure she had someone to turn to. Someone she could hold on to when she didn't have the strength to go on alone. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that he had planned this somehow. He wanted her to move on. To be happy.

Her voice was low as she spoke. "Why did you come here?"

Kei reached up and placed his hand over hers. His touch was a little like Yuu's, too. Strong, but not in a forceful way. His tone matched hers as he answered. "I felt like Yuu wanted me to come. I think he'd like me to take care of you."

Rei reached down to touch his other hand where it hung at his side. His fingers wrapped around hers softly. A smile touched her lips.

"I think," she said slowly, "that I'd like that, too."


End file.
